It’s not the best weekend for movies in living memory. Let’s put it that way. But there is Denzel in full action mode, and the beautiful Rachel McAdams on screen two.
Safe House
Denzel Washington has entered the part of his career where he gets to play crazy. He's done with the Oscar-nominated noble characters. Now, he gets to have fun. That's the only reason (and also, probably, a very good paycheck) he is starring in Safe House as a CIA officer who's gone rogue. He's joined by an improbably good cast—including Vera Farmiga (an Oscar nominee), Sam Shepard (him too), Brendan Gleeson and um, yeah, Ryan Reynolds. (We know Reynolds is pretty and easy to look at, but our cat has more charisma than he does. Really.). The plot has something to do with Washington escaping from the safe house, and Reynolds catching him, and learning that the truth is all lies. Or something.
Perfect For: Fans of rootin,' tootin', shoot 'em ups.
What the Critics Say: It's worth noting that most of the heavyweights have yet to weigh in, and that's probably for the best. The Hollywood Reporter is the lone victim: "Essentially a two-hour chase with a few brief breaks to catch its breath, Safe House is an elemental cat-and-mouse game elaborated to the point of diminishing returns."
Our Take: No.
The Vow
Rachel McAdams solidified her place in the pantheon of romantic film heroines when she starred opposite Ryan Gosling in The Notebook. So she's the absolutely perfect choice to be the central character in The Vow, in which she stars opposite Channing Tatum, as a married woman who gets hit by a car and develops amnesia and can no longer remember anything about her wonderful life with Tatum. Throw in her devious parents and an evil-ex fiance and you've got a movie. Sort of. (And, surprise, this is actually based on a true story.)
Perfect For: Fans of The Notebook, Rachel McAdams, syrupy sweet romantic dramas, and stories about Prince Charming.
What the Critics Say: Not much yet, but mostly unkind things, especially since this pablum comes from the soft minds of the screenwriters who brought you the klassy-with-a-k hits, He's Just Not That Into You, Valentine's Day and Never Been Kissed. Writes the Hollywood Reporter: " Women supposedly get to call the shots on what film to see on this holiday, and enough will pick this to make it click at the box office. But good luck to the young men who get roped into going."
Our Take: Is it absolutely terrible that we would totally watch this? Of course, we'd travel to another city where no one recognized us, and wear a hat and a wig and sunglasses just to be sure.
Star Wars: Episode 1—the Phantom Menace 3D
George Lucas, stop messing with your films!
Perfect For: George Lucas, stop it! Just stop it!
What the Critics Say: The movie still sucks, no matter how much you tinker with it. George Lucas, just stop it! Writes Jack Yacks of the Florida Times-Union: "Yes, there is something worse than Jar Jar Binks. That would be Jar Jar Binks in 3D."
Our Take: 3D gives us a headache. So does Jar Jar Binks. Wake us when they do The Empire Strikes Back.
