The original Footloose and The Thing were hits in the 1980s, but may well be again this weekend. As for the one original movie? Not so much.
Footloose
Is it possible that Hollywood has managed to not mess up a kitschy classic? OK, so the first Footloose wasn’t exactly a cinematic tour de force, but it did cement Kevin Bacon’s career, brand him a heartthrob, and had enough memorable performances (Lori Singer as the preacher’s daughter, and the ever-creepy John Lithgow as the preacher) to be one of those movies that just shouldn’t be messed with. It was so bad, it was good. The new rendition has updated itself—you’ll notice this version of the small Southern town acknowledges that African Americans exist, and as a result the music gets a much-needed update. Gone is the corny Kenny Loggins soundtrack; in its place, a more hip hop-centric backbone. The stars Kenny Wormald (as Ren MacCormack), Julianne Hough (as Ariel, the daughter), and Dennis Quaid as the uptight preacher look promising.
Perfect For: Nostalgia seekers and the actual intended audience: teenagers.
What the Critics Say: It’s still early, but it appears they don’t universally hate it. Karina Longworth of the Village Voice calls it an “extraordinarily faithful remake,” and says that the integrated update of the cast helps: “Brewer’s film throws the standard high school movie notion of a teenage caste system out the window. Class, race, academic stratification, subcultural affiliation… are treated here as meaningless.”
Our Take: Go. (I know, we’re shocked, too!)
The Thing
It would be too much to ask that Hollywood not mess up two sequels in a week. So we won’t do it. Lucky for the makers of The Thing, this is a prequel to the John Carpenter 1982 film. The new flick focuses on the Norwegians who radioed in that they had found the Thing during the first expedition (and who later were killed). Then, as now, the key trick the Thing has up its sleeve is the ability to shape shift into any form of any human it has killed, which leads to mass confusion amongst the staff. Starring Mary Elizabeth Winstead as the lead paleontologist.
Perfect For: Fans of psychological horror films, creepy, crawly aliens.
What the Critics Say: They are mixed. The San Francisco Chronicle isn’t terribly impressed: “It delivers a repetitive assault of gross creature effects and action done far better in Carpenter's version, the first two "Alien" films and a lot of other flicks about entities that feed on pitiful earthlings,” writes David Germain. Roger Moore at the Orlando Sentinel calls it, “a film that’s so enthralled with its actual “thing” that it forgets to be scary or suspenseful.”
Our Take: Rent the John Carpenter film and save your pennies.
The Big Year
The bumph dubs this a “sophisticated comedy.” We suppose that means that, unlike a Judd Apatow movie, the jokes won’t be too dirty or lowbrow (or, possibly, funny). The cast is good—Owen Wilson, Jack Black, and Steve Martin star as pals who compete in an extreme year-long birdwatching competition. The threesome are facing various forms of a mid-life crisis and decide to chase after their dreams—to do something “big.” Birds don’t figure heavily in the trailer, and the movie seems like a more comedic take on The Bucket List.
Perfect For: People in the mood for something light with a larger message. If you like the stars (and really who doesn’t?) you might enjoy the movie.
What the Critics Say: The reviews aren’t coming, either because it’s so bad the critics aren’t bothering, or it’s so bad that the critics weren’t given a chance to see it. The sole major critic to post a review, Rex Reed of the New York Observer, offered this unvarnished derision: “It’s not so much awful as, well, not there at all. I mean, it disappears faster than a yellow-chested finch whose bird feeder has been invaded by raccoons.”
Our Take: Skip it.
