In theater 1, millions are dying of a mystery illness while Steven Soderberg retires, and in theater 2, there’s fighting and tears on the menu. So who’s going to go for the idiot porn star in theater 3? The choice is yours.
Contagion
Contagion doesn’t need an all-star cast or a top-notch director: its premise is spooky enough. A mysterious, highly contagious virus infects a traveler (Gwyneth Paltrow), who unknowingly spreads the virus around and sets off worldwide government alerts, scientists freaking out and mass panic. We’ve been here before (see Outbreak, which follows exactly the same trajectory), but this time the all-star cast (which includes Matt Damon, Marion Cotillard, Kate Winslet, Laurence Fishburne and Jude Law) is in Steven Soderberg’s hands. He takes what could be a simple popcorn flick and turns into a more refined experience.
Perfect for: Fans of 28 Days Later, 12 Monkeys, and Quarantine. Also germaphobes who can’t wait to say, “I told you so.”
What the Critics Say: Restrained praise for Soderberg—who has announced his retirement from filmmaking. Writes Time magazine: “The man does have a gift for organization.” At MSN.com, arm’s length, faint praise. “Though far from a likeable movie, "Contagion" is admirable as a highly controlled, verging-on-Kubrickian exercise in directorial vision and style. What's most disturbing about this low-energy disaster movie is how tellingly it taps into America's current angst, the fear of a slow decline that can't be cured.”
Our take: Soderberg’s one of the best directors of our time; we’ll watch one of his last hurrahs.
Warrior
The Fighter with better looking actors and less Oscar bait. Only this time, the sparring takes place in a mixed martial arts ring (rather than a boxing ring), the brothers are still estranged (one is a military vet, the other a former fighter who comes back to make some cash for his family), and they also end up (shocka!) in the big finale fighting each other. Oh, brother! The cast—Nick Nolte, grizzled as ever, Tom Hardy, handsome and brutish as ever, and Joel Edgerton in the lead role as Brendan—holds up the otherwise generic premise.
Perfect For: Fans of Rocky, The Fighter, and kung fu.
What the Critics Say: Pleasantly surprised, it seems. Perhaps the low expectations worked in the film’s favor. Writes Rex Reed at the New York Observer: “Skillfully made and adrenalin-fueled, Warrior is nothing like what I expected. It overcomes inescapable boxing and martial arts clichés and leaves you thoroughly sated, energized and wanting more.” Glen Kenny at MSN Movies agrees: “A double-barreled "Rocky" for the mixed martial arts generations… one of the most exhilarating surprises of this summer movie season.”
Our Take: Hot topless actors getting sweat for two hours, plus we might cry at the end? We’ll take it.
Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star
He’s not your average porn star: he’s butt ugly, wears his hair in a bowl cut, sports enormously large buck teeth, and dresses like a 12-year old circa 1975. He’s also kinda (okay, very) stupid. And his “equipment” is rather small. Building an entire movie around that gag is going to be very difficult—but let’s see if Nick Swardson (of Reno 911) fame, Don Johnson (in a nice stroke of casting genius –stars as a porn director), and director Adam Sandler can pull it off.
Perfect For: Fans of Boogie Nights and Happy Madison and would like to see them converge.
What the Critics Say: Nothing yet, because they’ve not been shown the film. Never a good sign.
Our Take: Skip it. For the “dumb dude” genre, the recently released, Our Idiot Brother looks far better for your time and greenbacks.
